Tongue Critic

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 , , , , 0

Alex:  We’ve already established he never reads our blog… But just in case he’s ever forced to… Dad, stop reading now.
Alex:  Not kidding.
Alex:  Stop.  Reading.  Now.
Alex:  Last warning.
Nik:  OH MY GOD!  You’re killing me!  He doesn’t read our blog!  What?!
Alex:   So, I  found a quick way to tell if you are compatible with someone. This doesn’t mean you’ll last forever, but it’s a way to tell if you’ve at least got chemistry. I’ve only asked my roommates so technically I’ve yet to meet anyone that has disagreed. So, if you do, it is probably your age. ;)
Nik:  Tread lightly, I’ve got out-of-control PMS and might unexpectedly drop kick you.
Alex:  Take some midol.  You can tell if ya got chemistry with someone based on how much fun you have while making out. A really hot and steamy make out sesh ALWAYS makes (or leads) to a good time. It sometimes takes a minute to get into each other’s groove, but eventually you do and when you do, you’re brought back to high school horny. Everything else stops and all you can think about is how awesome you feel. I’ve also dated (made out with) someone who didn’t really care for making out, whenever we did he never opened his mouth wide enough. It was hard to really get into it. We didn’t stay together long, he turned out to be kinda selfish. Super hot though. And my favorite kisser was my longest relationship. And I’ve also been with someone who didn’t start off as a good kisser, but now he is. We just figured out how to make out with each other. We’re still on talking terms.  Whenever we see each other, we make out. Unless one of us is seeing someone, then we’re awkward friends. But if you think about everyone you’ve made out with, which is probably hundreds of thousands, your favorite kissers may be the people you’ve had the strongest feelings for or the longest relationships with. So as you can see, moral of the story, making out is the easiest way to find out if you’ve got a future with someone.
Nik:  I can tell by how a man eats his food.
Alex:  Really?
Alex: (later) RESPOND! This is vital information, I need to know!
Alex: (later, later) You’re a bitch.

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