Alex: A lot of people in LA go sober for the month of January. Mostly because they drink so much over the holidays and need a refresh. I decided to join the trend and take on the challenge. I don’t have a drinking problem or anything, but I wanted to realign my will power. As a writer, you set a lot of your own deadlines and I felt like I was slacking with self discipline so I needed to remind myself that I control my choices. I went with what I thought would be simple… sobriety. But it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I noticed how much of a crutch drinking is in a social setting. The booze becomes a security blanket that warms me up when stepping outside of my comfort zone. It’s easier to talk to someone you just met or dance and not care what anyone thinks once you’ve had a few drinks. But after the first night I realized how much more I appreciate a sober conversation. You’re not only more present during the conversation, but you can remember them afterwards. It was eye-opening to be the only sober one at a party and watch people talk about the same things over and over. After a couple of weeks, I started to feel more motivated, it was easier to get up in the morning; life just seemed a little more grounded when I wasn’t prioritizing the weekend escape. I’m not saying that I’m done drinking, I’m just done pretending like I’m still in college.
Nik: Although I just had a Sunday mimosa and am a little buzzed as I type this, I must admit there’s something really powerful about going sober. I don’t consider myself the most devout person, but every year I give up something for Lent. I like the discipline of it and the psychology behind giving up something that’s challenging to live without. One year I gave up french fries, another year shopping and one year I gave up booze. I was sober for 40 days. It was hard at first, mostly because as a single person in LA, a lot of what you spend your time doing includes drinking with friends at dinner or various events. But without it I found that my conversations with friends were more succinct and meaningful, my mood was more balanced, I slept better, I got more done, and I just felt an overall sense of well-being that can only come from that sort of discipline. It was pretty great. And man that first sip of wine after taking 40 days off tasted like poison. It was crazy. I think it was really good that you participated in Sober January. I think it’s a good lesson in self-discipline and makes you really understand that you’re in control of your choices and the power that comes with that.
Alex: French fries?! What are you giving up this year for Lent?
Nik: I gave up negativity. It’s so hard! I mean AWESOME!
Alex: Boss status. I like the idea of giving something up each month.
Nik: Me too. It’s such a great practice in mindfulness and forces you to be present.
Alex: I agree. Hmm what should I give up next?
Nik: Pizza.
Alex: No.

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Nik: Paleta.  That is all.
Alex: What kind of balls are those? Beef balls? Chicken balls? Lamb balls? Man balls? You plate like a whore.
Nik: Ate like one too.
Alex: For how long?
Nik: Two weeks.
Alex: And they deliver?
Nik: Yep, every morning.
Alex: And the food was good?
Nik: Really good. It’s great for anyone who wants to kickstart a diet or reacquaint themselves with healthy eating habits.
Alex: I like the word reacquaint.
Nik: I like meatballs.
Alex: I like you.
Nik: I like you too.

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Nik: Five ingredients. Five minutes.
Alex: WHAT?
Nik: Yeah.
Alex: No way.
Nik: Mmhmm.
Alex: Whoa.
Nik: Right?
Alex: What’s your favorite recipe?
Nik: Salmon with Rosemary and Garlic.
Alex: Yum. My mouth just watered.
Nik: Or Turkey Cutlet with Brussels Sprout Salad.
Alex: Cutlet reminds of the Bears. They suck.
Nik: Or Breaded Chicken Breast with Tomatoes and Basil.
Alex: Winner winner chicken dinner.
Nik: Please don’t say that again. When I hear people say that it makes me want to stab a fork in my eye.
Alex: BEEEEF. It’s what’s for dinner.
Nik: No.
Alex: YES.

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Nik: I can’t get enough of the Harvest Pumpkin. It’s so gooooood. I crave it.
Alex: Will you make your pumpkin cake soon?
Nik: I love all of their soups. I buy a bunch and keep them in the freezer. They’re perfect for nights when I work really late and don’t feel like pounding a big meal before bed.
Alex: I love pounding before bed.
Nik: I’m seriously addicted. My mouth is watering just talking about it. And they’re super healthy, all natural and vegetarian.
Alex: Bummer, I like meat. Especially sausage.
Nik: Will you just sleep with that guy I told you not to sleep with? I’m trying to have a serious conversation about soup.
(long pause)
Nik: Annnnnd this is why I’m single.

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Nik: I love a challenge.
Alex: Me too, especially when there’s food involved.
Nik: I wonder if I can actually commit to something for 30 days.
Alex: Well there’s only one way to find out. I’m signing up!

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Nik:  I love this recipe book so much I want to make out with it.  Julie Morris is mindful of sugar content, keeping it low, and also manages to infuse each recipe with loads of superfoods and vegetables. VEGGIES! Swear it, you can’t even taste them. The Chocolate Kale is my favorite. Alex: Oh my lanta that smoothie was the titties! I really hope my dad doesn’t ever read this blog. He’d be mortified if he knew I sometimes have the mouth of the sailer…keyword SOMETIMES. Nik:  We already established that your dad NEVER reads our blog.  Like, my guess is, ever.  On the off chance he is,  he’ll be happy to see that you’re eating/drinking your vegetables. Nik:  Cheers lil betch.

photo credit: kelsey lawson

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Nik:  A friend told me about My Fit Foods. It’s great. I’m a huge fan. I’m not trying to lose weight, but I find cooking for one to be rather dull, not to mention expensive, so I stock up on meals for the week from this place. Someone with OCD more severe than mine definitely organized the store. You walk in to find walls of refrigerators organized by breakfast, lunch and dinner. Within those refrigerators you’ve got a variety of meals sorted by size (small, medium, large) for your caloric needs. The unexpected bonus is that I’m actually saving money because I’m not eating out as much and I’m not throwing away unused groceries and uneaten leftovers. Yay.
Alex:  Perfect knowledge for my healthy food kick. I’ve been doing well. I’m proud of myself. I haven’t eaten bread and butter for a few days now. Jk – its been at least a week.
Nik:  I’m surprised you didn’t say grilled cheese.

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Nik:  Green juice. I’ve been doing this for over a year, but I love it and wanted to share. Every Sunday I buy five green juices from Pressed Juicery or Juice Crafters and line them up in my fridge for the week. It’s the first thing I drink every morning. This simple ritual puts me in a healthy state of mind. We’re lucky to live here because you can find a juice place on every corner.
Alex:  Green juice can last for five days?
Nik:  I am a little farty on Fridays. KIDDING.
Alex:  I have no response to that.
Nik:  Pfffrrrttt.
Alex:  Are you done?
Nik:  No. It’s Friday.
Alex:  What do you do if you have a date Friday night?
Nik:  Blow him away. No seriously, the moral of the GJ story is that my skin is great and it gives me energy and mental clarity that I don’t get from anything else.

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Alex:  Hangovers are real. They remind me how much older I am. Remember in college when you could go out Thursday, Friday, and Saturday? Sometimes add a Sunday Funday? Well, and Monday and Tuesday… I’m at that phase where you still can do that, but you’re greeted the next morning with a headache, nausea, and a body coma. I’m no stranger to a bad hangover, but even after three drinks I can feel it in the morning. Thank heavens for Juice Crafters, sunglasses, and Advil. What’s your cure?
Nik:  Preventative. Two drink max. You’re an adult now–no need to get shitty, or you’ll feel shitty. If you must (we’re Wisconsinites and drinking is in our DNA) straddle every drink with a glass of water with lemon.
Alex:  Good plan… more straddlin’.
Nik:  Oh good lord.

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Alex:  My mother called me today. It caught me off guard, I wasn’t ready. As my phone was ringing I had an instant flashback to the last time we spoke: “I don’t want to see you, Alex.” It has been months since I’ve talked to her. The feeling of hope that she was her old self again took over. I was walking into my friends house when I decided to pick up the phone and see what my estranged mother wants. I was greeted with disappointment. I’m not surprised. Why did I answer again? In the past, I would go along with her crazy, made-up, inebriated stories. Pretending like I was listening. Then more often than not she would say something that cut so deep, I’d fight back. I’d say things I didn’t mean. Then hang up the phone and be so bothered by our altercation that it’d end up ruining my night. I’ve been trying to have a relationship with my mother for so long, but every time we talk I end up with steam coming out of my ears. I turn into this vicious monster who can’t be tamed and then feel guilty about it later on. I think we all do this..put up with toxic relationships because you love them. A psycho boyfriend stalks your social media and makes you explain every post, every person you follow, every picture you like. You fight constantly and even though you know you should be in a better relationship you put up with it because you love him. Your girlfriend goes out and parties too much, gets drunk and is mean to you, but you put up with it anyway because you love her and you think she’ll change. Your mom is incapable of loving anyone and lives in her own fantasy world where you’re the evil villain, but you allow her to destroy you because she’s your mom and you love her. Alright, I think you get the picture. I’m tired of toxic relationships, Nik. I’m exhausted by putting up with people who don’t deserve to be in my life. I’m emotionally drained and shouldn’t have to deal with the constant negativity from someone I love. I’m finally accepting what is. No more playing victim. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. You can’t control other people’s actions. You can’t change someone else, you can only make changes within yourself. I have an estranged mother, so what? Its made me who I am today. I like where I am and every time I talk to her, I back track. So why give someone the time of day who makes you backtrack? What you learn from a relationship is often times more valuable than having it.
Nik:  Hope is a tricky thing. I think hope is an innate characteristic we all have, and it’s tough when the realization that it’s time to let go sets in because it signifies that what you’ve hoped for isn’t possible. That’s a tough pill to swallow. It maybe feels like you’re giving up. But I think it’s very important to recognize the relationships that don’t serve you and to let them go gracefully. If you’re spending more time unhappy than happy in a situation, it’s not worth it, no matter how hopeful you are. It’s okay to walk away and protect yourself. It’s better. And it’s healthy. You can’t save anyone and you can’t force a relationship to be something it’s not. In the end, when you shed a toxic relationship, both people become better for it.
Alex:  Nik you are so good. Your words are quotable. I want to quote them all day everyday. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with me. I can’t tell you how many times a day I tell myself how lucky I am to have someone like you in my life!

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