Nik: Alex! We need to make Pina Ghouladas! I found this recipe on Martha Stewart’s site.
Alex: What were you doing on Martha Stewart?
Nik: Looking at stuff.
Alex: No comment.
Nik: What? She has cool recipes and crafts.
(silence)
Nik: I’m being really serious right now.
Alex: Me too.

INGREDIENTS:
FOR THE “BLOOD”
3 tablespoons corn syrup
1/4 teaspoons red food coloring
FOR THE DRINK
20 ounces pineapple juice
1 can (15 ounces) cream of coconut
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 cup orange juice
10 ounces good-quality rum

DIRECTIONS:
Pour the corn syrup in a shallow bowl. Dip a toothpick into the food coloring, and stir a very small amount into the syrup to combine. Hold a glass by the stem, dip rim into the syrup mixture, and turn glass, coating entire rim. Turn the glass upright, allowing mixture to drip down sides. Dip the remaining glasses. Set aside.

Whisk together drink ingredients. Place 2 1/2 cups ice in a blender, and add 1 cup drink mixture. Blend until smooth; add more pineapple juice if mixture is too thick. Repeat with remaining ice and mixture. Carefully pour into prepared glasses; serve.

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Alex:  I never know what to drink when I go out. I always ask everyone what they’re getting before I order hoping it will help me make a decision. If I knew my drink, I wouldn’t have to contemplate for three hours whether I want vodka, whiskey, or a beer. I’ve always been jealous of my dad. He has been drinking bacardi and coke for as long as I can remember. He knows what he likes. I want to know what I like. The other night at Moms, my favorite bar in Santa Monica, it has a ping pong table, a nice gentleman asked “Can I buy you a drink?” I annoyingly responded “Hmm…what are you having? I usually go with a vodka tonic or a Jameson and lemonade, but it depends on the night.” He smiled, but I could tell he was really thinking… what the eff do you want? After that encounter, I decided I want to have a drink I like enough to order every time. That way I can actually talk to the cute guy at the bar instead of spending fifteen minutes picking a drink. Do you have a go-to?
Nik:  I don’t have one. But I need one because I do the same thing. I spend forever eyeballing every bottle on the shelf trying to make a decision. Then I’ll ask the bartender what I should get and he’ll ask what kind of alcohol I like and I don’t even know that. I guess I like a dirty martini, but only when I’m craving salt. I don’t like sugary drinks. I like wine, but only at restaurants. Beer makes me burp, which is never ideal, nothing like burping in a guys face right after he asks for your number…yeah. I don’t have my drink yet. I’d like go-to’s. A beer. A drink. A wine.
Alex:  What do you mean burping in a guys face is never ideal?
Nik:   I don’t even know how to respond.
Nik:  I just looked at the link you sent me.  I’m cracking up.  Does your dad wear cargo shorts?

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